Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by Schnarch David

Author:Schnarch, David [Schnarch, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Midpoint Trade Books
Published: 2011-10-01T04:00:00+00:00

Eyes-Open Orgasm

There seem to be two types of people in the world: those who are shocked that others can have orgasms with their eyes open, and those who are shocked that others don’t! Neither group believes the other exists. A female gynecologist recently told me she thought it was physiologically impossible to have an orgasm with eyes open. A cab driver in Melbourne, Australia, told me just the opposite:

I was sitting in the front seat next to the driver because that’s what a “good bloke” does in Australia. The driver was a mathematician from Pakistan unable to find other employment. As he drove me to the airport, he asked for advice about a serious concern. He revealed that, like many men in his culture, he had been a virgin when he married his Australian wife three years earlier. Now exposed to Western culture, he felt bad about his “lack of experience.” He wanted to know if I knew of some esoteric sexual practices his wife might be missing. I told this gentle man that I don’t teach techniques, but I do help people have orgasms with their eyes open.

As often happens, the man looked incredulous. But I wasn’t prepared for what followed. He said: “You mean there are people . . . who don’t?”

I was filled with sadness and admiration. Here was a man apologizing for himself, feeling inadequate, when he’d accomplished something relatively few people do. In three years’ time, he and his wife had spontaneously developed the ability to have orgasms with their eyes open.

It’s hard to describe the impact of looking into the eyes of someone you love as you reach orgasm. It’s difficult for me to convey the richness of eyes-open orgasm between Ruth and me. Every time it happens it brings to mind how far our relationship and our love—and our personal development—have come. Looking into each other and climaxing can be electric, tender, forceful, and nurturant, all at once. It’s truly amazing how the human mind can integrate this cacophony of sensations, thoughts, and emotions, into a cohesive—delicious—experience.

I realize eyes-open orgasms can sound intimidating and maybe even unnatural (remember, though, they were quite natural for the Pakistani man). If this makes you self-conscious, ask yourself if that’s really a bad thing. As we discussed in Chapter 4, self-consciousness is inherent to intimacy. And according to Tantric sex experts, self-awareness during sex is part of our sexual potential and the goal of sex. They say this helps partners focus their minds and emotions, channeling their energy and transforming their unity into ecstasy. Eyes-open orgasm highlights how close people (and sex) can get, and how far apart so many of us are. At the moment of orgasm—the supposed peak of the sexual encounter—we’re on separate worlds: we tune out each other in order to climax. In comparison to eyes-open orgasm, simultaneous eyes-closed orgasm seems sort of funny.

Eyes-open orgasm builds on many topics we’ve discussed previously, like sexual vibes, feeling while touching, and following the connection. You

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.